Talking About Bondage

A Woman's Perspective

by Adam & Eve

Talking with your partner about trying any new sexual experience can be difficult, especially if it involves tying someone up. Approach the topic carefully in order to avoid hurt feelings and any misunderstanding about what you're interested in tyring.

The key to a successful conversation on any topic is an open mind and respect for the other person’s opinion. The first thing you need to think about before broaching the topic is: “What if they say no?” There are many different reasons why your partner may not be comfortable trying out bondage. Before you bring up the subject, make sure that you can gracefully handle rejection. Discussing your sexual desires should bring a couple closer, not start a fight.

Where, when and how you bring up the subject is very important as well. Choose a time when you’re alone together and both in a good mood. Bringing it up right after your partner gets home from a stressful day at work probably isn’t going to go very well for you. Instead, bring it up after a romantic dinner or while you’re playing a game together.

Once you’ve found an appropriate time, how you bring it up becomes incredibly important. I recommend starting the conversation off with something like “I was reading this article the other day”. You want to let your partner know upfront where you got this idea. If you don’t, they might imagine all sorts of unsavory things. That could lead to big problems down the road. You also need to reassure your partner that you are interested in trying something new as a supplement to your love life, not because something is wrong. Most people are very sensitive about their skill in the bedroom and you don’t want your partner thinking they aren’t up to par (if they really aren’t up to par, you need to have a completely different sort of conversation with them).

Now that you’ve reassured your partner you can start to talk about you interests. Tell them a sexy story about your bondage fantasies. Whether you want to get tied up or do the tying, explain in detail why this is erotic to you. Talk about the specific acts that turn you on. Be conscious of your partner’s reaction. If your partner seems intrigued by this, then by all means, carry on. If your partner seems uncomfortable, talk about it openly. Find out why your partner isn’t comfortable. It could simply be a misunderstanding. Bondage can stir up very different feelings in people. You have to be respectful of your partner’s opinion. What seems erotic to you might seem completely degrading to your partner.

If things are going well, artfully ask your partner if they want to try these things out. You will probably need to invest in some bondage toys and accessories. Start with a blindfold and wrist restraints or bondage tape. Shop for these things together, not only will you both get turned on it’s a great way to find out what exactly your partner is and is not willing to try. Now that you’re prepared, enjoy your bondage experience. And be safe please and remember communication is the key to any relationship.

Adam and Eve believes and encourages consenting adults to live a “Sex Positive” lifestyle including experimenting with adult sex toys, sex positions and playful bondage. Adam and Eve has a selection of playful bondage toys and restraints geared towards bondage beginners.

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