Is Cybersex Cheating?

Curious about Cybersex?

• PVLocker - Keep your hard drive porn free and your private library in the cloud. At PVLocker you buy it once, and watch it forever, access it anywhere, any time, by desktop, table or smartphone. No subscription, no recurring billing. Nothing to cancel, nothing to hide.

• Adam & Eve has an extensive selection of adult products at the very best prices (and free shipping!), and an unparalleled reputation for discretion and customer service. Leaving customers with a satisfied smile is their mission, and an ongoing challenge Adam & Eve is happy to meet!

From A-nony-moose
Is Cyber-Sex Adultery?  YES!! DUH! What else does anyone SERIOUSLY think it is? Cheating on your partner ... is cheating on your partner, whether it's your mind &/or your body &/or your spirit. If you believe anything else, not only are you lying to your partner, you are lying to yourself. Oh, and when you begin to actually believe those lies to yourself, it's called being "insane".

From Rosie
I don't even know where to start. I am a married woman of 19 years with 2 kids. I have been with my online lover for almost a year and I have such deep feelings for him it's unreal. Yes I do think I'm cheating in some ways and I do feel bad at times, but I love this man online so much I don't allow myself to think about it too often. Will I ever leave my husband for this man? I doubt it. My husband would be very hurt If he knew how deep my feelings for this man really was or that I phone sex him. But in reality I feel this man has made me a better person. That is how I feel about it. Thank you.

From Clarabelle
This is so topical to me right now, I'm an erotic fiction writer and I post on some sites. In a few of these there are related chat rooms and I've managed to distract myself away from meeting 'like minded' people in this way, most of the time. I enjoy playing in a chat room, doing the casual flirting thing, but when it becomes a one on one discussion with an unknown man, it may not be, but it FEELS like cheating.

I've been married nearly two years, we have a great sex life. I only know that when he comes home from work and I'm in a chat room I hastily shut it down like I've been doing something wrong and I feel guilt. So that's symptomatic of cheating right? Or am I just embarrassed that my libido rules a larger portion of my life than his as I live and breathe it in my writing...

From StockingKitten
If your partner would be unhappy if they found out, then YES IT IS! and everyone who pretends that it isn't, is lying to themselves - and worse, lying to their (real life) partner. You are simulating sex with another person! Ask yourself, would you be happy if you found out your partner was doing that with someone else? Of course it's cheating! The cheating part starts where you keep important information like this from them. It's not somehow not happening just because it's over the internet. At least at the point where another (real) person is interacting with you, live (as opposed to watching a pre-recorded porn film or reading erotica), it's cheating.

And it's not just (as someone else commented) between you and your cyber buddy - it's between everyone who has agreed to be your long-term, committed partner, on or off the internet. Commitment means you owe them your honesty and respect.

The exceptions to this, are of course if you and your (real life) partner have both agreed beforehand that this is OK, or, if you are single. Each to their own - I would like to point out that I'm not trying to moderate this site, I love the openness, and I've frequently had cybersex and so I do understand the attraction (in fact, yum yum!) But please, let's respect our partners here.

From Anonymous
I don't necessarily find cybersex cheating. I think its a  sexual fantasy. However I recently discovered my husband likes to do it but when I act sexual and nasty like his conversations in the chat rooms I get no response. He rarely wants to have sex, but loves to do cybersex?? I am really disturbed.

From cheated girlfriend
I just recently found out that my boyfriend cheated on me...yes CHEATED on me even though he was "only" having cybersex and the occasional phone sex with females. I feel so utterly betrayed and and in total misery ever since the day I discovered what he has been up to! I believe that people who are doing these things to their partners know it is wrong because otherwise they would tell them what they are up to and why. The basis of a relationship is to be open and truthful, and when one partner in the relationship fails to take this to heart then they are not valuing their relationship in a way that it should be.

I can totally identify with those who have found out about their cheating partners and how they cannot trust them again. I have also felt this to the point of wanting to break up since what is the point of loving someone who obviously doesn't treat the relationship or their partner with enough respect. As far as I'm concerned, my boyfriend might as well have openly screwed these girls, because the hurt and pain that he has caused me sure as hell feels the same. What made the pain a little worst was the fact that some of the girls he had phone/cybersex with knew that he had a girlfriend but they obviously didn't think it was relevant. I hope in my heart that they will all one day get a taste of their own medicine.

From Paul J. Wilson
I believe that cyber relationships/cyber sex is a very very good thing. But crucially it depends on the state of mind of the two people participating in it. I am 34 year old male and have a wife and children. I come online and 'meet up' so to speak with women online as a means of escape. I however (in my own mind) realise that there is no way however good the lady I am chatting to etc sounds, that you cannot really know a person at all onscreen. I base the text they send me as 'just words on a screen' and anything done on cam as 'just a stranger' . This sounds cruel but it is my protection and my families protection against me getting any ideas about going AWOL from my family! 

I have had some fantastic experiences online where the lady has had orgasm after orgasm from just what I type and that turns me on to think I am sensual enough to do that. I also expect the lady to be like me - respect me but remember I am just words on a screen/ a stranger on cam. If both parties believe this then there are no boundaries to what you type and see, its healthy, its an escape and I certainly believe in it. 

However, dangerously out there there are people who are lonely, have mental health problems, have problems in their relationship and go online to patch up or fix these problems. This is where the trouble seems to start. Some people say that it cannot be as good as having someone in a room to touch and feel them? I do not believe so, sometimes the build up, the flirting, the words or what you can see on cam can be amazingly exciting more so than in the flesh.

So all in all obviously cyber gets a big thumbs up for me. As an escape, creative writing, physical exercise and love for women long may we cyber!

p.s. anyone interested please email me at....... only kidding!

From Anonymous
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend going on two years. He is pretty conservative sexually and some of the time he leaves me unfulfilled. I go online in a chatroom where I have a completely anonymous identity, it is never a problem to find someone who wants to cam to cam. I request that he not show his face and I don't show mine and we just talk to each other while showing various body parts and masturbating until we both get off. 

Until recently I had only done it with each man once and then I would never do it with him again. I have since met a man who lives in another country and we have become friends and recently had cybersex. 

Do I consider it cheating? Not really, since I am not married to my boyfriend in the first place. He regularly masturbates to porn, he has a huge collection, what is the difference really? I'm doing it with men completely anonymously (with the exception of my friend overseas) with no chance of ever meeting any of them. My boyfriend has his porn, I have my cybersex. I don't go unsatisfied anymore.

Page:   1  |  2  |  3  |  4 
___________________

Interested in this topic? Share your thoughts with us.

  E-mail this page

Copyright © 1996 and on, Erotica Readers Association, Inc.
All Rights Reserved World Wide. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or
medium without express written permission is prohibited.