Men & Women Revealed

What you really ought to know

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From Doug
Don't assume that all men want sports. I much prefer sharing with a warm living breathing woman to any possible electronic device or entertainment. I prefer deep honesty and intimacy. I would rather have the truth, whatever it is to a lie or mislead or evasion. I like a lot of touching and long deep hugs. I like to sleep snuggled up. I find that women make all sorts of assumptions about me, almost always wrong. I'm almost 60 but my mind hasn't ossified and I'm not interested in being old.

From Rose B. Thorny
I wish that men understood that when they ask you, "what's wrong?" and you say, "nothing," that it means there is a whole shit-load of stuff that is wrong, but that it's mostly inside you and you're afraid to talk about it, because you think he'll think it sounds stupid and weak and girly and whiny and maybe even naggy, but you just want him to know what you're feeling.

I would also love it if men knew that a woman wants to be the ultimate distraction sometimes. That it doesn't matter what you are doing - watching the game, focused on the computer, fixing something that isn't particularly urgent, reading - once in a while, when you are doing it and she walks into the room, she wants you to (a) first of all actually look up at her before she's spent five minutes clearing her throat to get your attention, then (b) drop whatever you are doing because she is more important to you than any thing could possibly be, and (c) bend her over whatever piece of furniture is sturdy enough, yank down her pants or hike up her skirts, pull down her panties and take her right there and then because she is the most irresistible woman on earth. The thing is, if you don't do that once in awhile, what you're really saying to her (or what she is inferring from cool self-possession or lack of spontaneous passion) is, "I'll get around to you when I've finished doing all the important stuff."

From Sandaidh
When a man asks, "What's wrong?" and you say, "Nothing," it also doesn't mean that he has to fix anything.  Just being there, and listening, is enough. I also wish men knew that crying is very often an overflow of emotion. It doesn't signify weakness, or that we want anything, or anything else. It means that the emotions inside are so full, they're overflowing.  He doesn't have to "fix" that either.

A woman wants to be told she's loved.  Even when she knows, in no uncertain terms that she's loved, she still wants to hear the words.  If you say you love her, mean it.  Don't lie.

A woman wants to be touched, not necessarily in a sexual way.  There's sexual touching, and that's good.  There's also the casual touch, which often means a lot more - the hand on the shoulder as you walk by; a gentle, and brief massage.  It's not then hanging all over, clinging ivy kind of touching.  It's companionable, affectionate, and quiet and says "you're important."  Sometimes a good hug means more than a night in the sack.

As mentioned before, not every woman wants to get married.  Having a relationship does not mean being married.

From Euphrosyne
This may be a little backwards, but here's what I wish my fellow (ha! fellow- get it? okay, it wasn't that funny) women knew about men: they're HUMAN. They are not dogs, or aliens, or de facto predators, or heartless users; at least, not in any greater proportion than women are. They are people. They have different biochemistry and a totally different experience in society as children and adults. You obsess about your looks; he obsesses about his manliness and doesn't even get to talk about it with his friends. As an individual, that guy across the table from you is wondering how much of his hairline wound up on the shower floor this morning. And he can't read your fucking mind.

Not that I'm not up for bitching about ignorant or thoughtless or hygienically-challenged partners, male or female. Far from it. But there's venting to your good friends, and then there's self-defeating avoidance of your own contribution to the problem. After a long and interesting romp through the sexual playing fields, I'm pretty much about personal responsibility, and I believe that once you hit 25 or so, your issues belong to you. Say what you want. Figure out your boundaries and standards. Stick to 'em. Tell the truth. If you want cunnilingus, get busy with some fellatio. If he doesn't reciprocate, MOVE ON. Then come buy me a drink and tell me all about it.

From new to dating
After 20 years of marriage, I am new to dating (I am a woman interested in a hetro relationship). What I wish men knew. . .please, come up with some new material! We all know men prefer tiny, petite, thin woman. I don't need to keep hearing that over and over again. I had an e-mail friendship with a man. Just e-mail, we were never going to meet. After a month or two, he told me he prefers tiny, petite, thin woman. He never heard from me again. Not that I took it personally, but I was just sick of hearing about it.

Also, the baby, baby, don't get hooked on me spiel. I get that same speech from every guy I date. Even the ones who are looking for LTR. Think a lot of yourself there? Have to beat the women off with a bat? Are they breaking down your door? Do you have to warn off every woman who looks your way, cos you know they are going to fall in love with you? Get over yourself. Sorry. Had to get that off my chest. It has been getting on my nerves lately!

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