Naughty Pictures or Sexy Words

Which works for you?

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From Anonymous
I would have to agree with Allie [see Allie's entry below] that when I'm alone I prefer erotic pictures/video. Being a female who is comfortable with her sexuality and relationship I love looking at images of women. I love looking at images from my husbands perspective, wondering what turns him on. When I see pictures of men and women together I envision that it is him and another woman. At times I enjoy hardcore pixs and movies, the raunchier content the better.

When intimate with my husband nothing gets me going more than listening to my husbands sexy voice telling me what he fantasizes about and what he wants to do to me. In return he loves to hear me talk dirty and tell him what I like while I stroke his cock.

Btw, I love this site. Its nice to hear from very normal sounding, intelligent, well spoken people. Thanks to all.

From Allie
Female, 29, committed - I would have to say that both naughty pics and sexy words do it for my libido. I like to use the pics when I am masturbating, especially if I'm in a hurry - it gets me where I want to be in a real hurry. I want sexy words from my lover. it makes me feel closer and sexier when I'm told I have a sexy, curvy ass or have big, bouncy tits. I would say a perfect intimate time would include both pics and saucy words. why not have it all, if it's available and wanted.

From Pete Smith
Both stories and pictures are great, it just depends on the day.

For stories, it needs to be well written, a story and setting, building in waves to a long final sex scene. I find I read faster when I'm aroused, so I want them to last. The stories that turn me on the most are the ones that terrify me if they happened to me for real: sexual imprisonment and bondage, being raped (by women or men), or forced and permanent chastity against my will.

When it comes to pictures, I prefer a long series in a theme, either the same woman/people in many pictures, or by the same photographer/artist, then run them through a slide show on my computer. I run them with a single mouse click (one hand) or let the computer advance the slides automatically (two hands free/busy).

I don't like pictures with nudity or sex, I prefer swimsuit images or maybe lingerie. For me, there's nothing as erotic as the suggested and the barely hidden. A woman in a thong pulling the side down without exposing herself and a sultry look in her eye is tantalizing; a woman in a basque and stockings, biting her long fingernail with a wry smile makes me shiver.

New magazine's like Maxim and FHM are just copycats of the swimsuit magazines of the late 1980s that I remember (and I ain't talking "Sports Illustrated"). While the women are great, they don't have the innocence of the "at play", non-sexual images of the old swimsuit magazines. The new ones are more sleazy than sexy. I want a new Jayne Mansfield, not another Pamela Anderson.

One of my favourite pictures ever had a beautiful 20-something brunette being sprayed with a water hose and she's trying to block the water with her hands, her pink top and white bottom g-string bikini soaking wet. Water is splashing everywhere, and her face is a big smile (half afraid, half enjoying it). It's a near perfect combination of consensual and non-consensual fantasy.

From Shawn
The moaning of my wife does me up better than anything else. I can only guess that that's why I like text, it is closer to what initiates my arousal than anything else I've seen. It's also quicker to skim when consuming erotica, thus make quick judgements and decide to pay attention or ignore.

From Cat In Heat
When it comes to other subjects, I love photography as opposed to graphics or art. But regarding sex, I'm not into still pictures at all. With sexual depictions, I'm like a cat who's got to see some movement before something registers visually on my horizon. Therefore, I love sexy mainstream movies with realistic depictions of lust and sexual attraction. I only find sexual re-enactments stimulating when there is a well-portrayed connection between the characters and the actors. The attraction also has to make sense to the story and be appealing to me mentally. To me, people are whole sexual beings, small universes of feelings and experiences walking among us, and not just body parts with mechanical instincts.  (Although I must say there are some brain dead types around who seem pretty two dimensional and like they might fuck without thinking...)

Not appealing at all to me are simulated scenarios of any kind that are just poorly executed excuses to hurry up and get to the fucking scene. This is why porn (and a lot of so-called sexy mainstream movies) don't work for me. This doesn't mean there has to be a love relationship between characters for the sex to be convincing or appealing. The context of the sex in the story has to work. As long as the sexual attraction fits intelligently and sensibly and isn't just put there because the Hollywood movie machine's assumption is that the test marketed audience would want to see these two hot body actors getting it on and it might sell more tickets or dvds... I HATE merchandised, canned sex like that. I hate when film makers assume that ANY sex in a movie is better than none or people won't be interested.

One of my very favorite sexy films has almost no sexual acts in it, but is sooo sexy because the chemistry between the actors was stratospherically fantastic and the relationships between the characters are very charged sexually and mentally. The dialog was unbelievably realistic and sexy. No groping was even needed to get the point across of the film - which was all about sex and sexual relationships.

I get off on realism, can you tell? Perhaps I fit the bill for how another writer here said women are turned on by sexual ideas. One idea that appeals to me a lot is unfulfilled, frustrated or thwarted lust, that leads to eventual, involuntary ravishing and resolution. Put simply, impediments to the path of love or lust make the fulfilling of one's heart's or loin's desires that more exciting, invigorating and renewing. There's a reason people enjoy stories with bumpy paths to love.

Audio is very important for me, along with the video. I adore music, and am especially drawn to male singing vocals. But there is nothing more erotic in this world than a particularly sexy male speaking voice. I swear a man could be ugly as sin, I mean, we're talking he needs a bag put over his head, but if he's got a sexy voice, it MAKES him sexy. An already attractive man with an unappealing voice is a turn off for me. Examples of extraordinarily erotic, famous male voices: Alan Rickman, Russell Crowe, Matthew Macfadyen, Paul Bettany, etc. Yeah, there's something viscerally divine about a British or Aussie accent, that's for sure.

So I likes me pictures to be moving ones, and that's my preference. To a lesser degree, I like reading erotic accounts of people's (allegedly) real life sexual experiences. This is what makes this site very appealing to me (although I only believe half of what's written here.) Some erotic fiction is alright, but non-fiction is wayyyyyyyy better.

Meanwhile, I was hoping to read more specifics here on exactly what words or phrases consistently turn people on or off. For me, any words that are derogatory or denigrating of female sexuality are a complete turn off. If a man ever called me a "slut," "cunt" or the dreaded "whore" in bed, I'd throw his ass out of it onto the floor. If sex is purportedly healthy, legitimate feelings, acts and experiences for modern females, how could any intelligent female be expected to be turned on by words that take women back sexually to the dark ages, or hell, even just 50/60 years ago, pre-sexual revolution ? There is nothing flattering or sexually appealing about being deemed a slut or whore whatsoever, in my book.  This is as unpalatable to me as when African Americans refer to themselves, amongst themselves, with the "N" word. But that's another subject entirely, and for another forum.

To be called a "slut" means you expressing your sexuality is not approved of... is there an equal word of disdain for men ? No, no there isn't, is there?

From Vinu
It is perfect conclusion "Men are aroused by pictures and women are aroused by words." One of my friend often reacts to saying "An apple a day keeps doctor away". He says What about two apples?" It is the picture of holding two apples in two hands resembles holding two boobs in two hands. i.e. picture created by words are useful too.

From Caviar
Porn turns me on - the more hardcore, the more turned on I get. But so does the voice of a man saying all sorts of things that on a normal day would make me blush or cringe.

My husband is a deadly silent lover (he has other traits that are irreplaceable, however) but I have come to the conclusion that my orgasms with him are merely physical reactions to the stimulus rather than mental erotic stimulation. An orgasm with the mental stimulation is much better.

From Candy
Someone mentioned that with pictures, you only get one shot, while you can engage and use your imagination with words. That's true, but I really like putting faces to the characters in erotic novels I read. More often than not they're gorgeous celebrities or people I know or have seen. 

The best for me is a combination - hot pictures, both generic (nude, so I can see everything), and the people in the act, and the story that accompanies it.

From Peter
I used to work across the street from a "Newsstand." The kind that sold porno magazines back in the sixties. I was browsing there one day before work and I opened one magazine that I believe was called Jaybird as in "Naked as a Jaybird." There were two sailors with a very pretty dark haired girl. They were removing her clothes and had her down to her panties. Then they pulled down her white panties and she had this shocked look on her face. Her pussy was completely shaved! The first I'd ever seen. No stubble or anything. Just two smooth pink lips showing as a vertical line between her legs. 

I'll never forget that picture as long as I live and as many shaved pictures as I might see.

From Next Breath
I've got to say that sounds are what does it for me. There's nothing like hearing the sounds of a man and knowing that what your doing to him means more to him then his next breath.

Words work when you are telling your partner what to do to get you off.

From Anonymous
I'm 50. Before I met and married my wife 9 years ago, photos did it for me. At first it was Playboy, then Penthouse, but as I got older I found myself wanting to see photos of couples together explicitly, graphically. But I found myself more drawn to photos where the couple looked like they actually gave half a damn about each other and seemed to be genuinely enjoying themselves not just mugging for the camera.

But now, since I met my wife 9 years ago, it's words that do it for me.

My wife actually says things to me like "I want to suck your cock!" (and she means it she wants to) or a softly whispered "let me ride you" or my perennial favorite, "Oh, yes, bang my walls!"

She refers to my masculinity as "him" and her femininity as "her", as in "Is he ready to enter her? or "she needs him, she wants him!"

Sometimes she uses the words "baby" and "daddy" as in "Does daddy want to come inside and play with baby?"

She has also turned the adjective-noun combination "stiff cock" into a verb, as in "Oh yes, stiff cock me, baby!"

So yes, words definitely have it all over pictures with me now! And if I do need a visual image, I need look no further than my beautiful naked wife lying beside, on top, or under me. I threw away my collection of men's magazines soon after we first made love--didn't need them any more! (My wife threw out her vibrator then, for the same reason didn't need it anymore!)

From Harmon
Male 55, Married. I was staying in an inexpensive motel on the second floor. I was about 100 miles from home on business without my wife. I was dozing off about 11 pm when I began to notice that a woman was vocally expressing a lot of pleasure in the room directly below. The first sounds were moans and gasps and I became very attentive. 

The sounds of pleasure continued and became emphatic. The woman was apparently experiencing multiple orgasms. The sounds continued for about 5 minutes followed by silence. When it was over I had a rock hard cock and nobody to share it with. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I achieved my own orgasm so I whacked off and went to sleep.

I wondered what was happening in the room below. Was it a man and a woman or two women? I would have happily paid $49.95 for a DVD, but only if it included the sound.

From Trixie
When he whispers to me what he plans to do - it is the biggest turn on for me - whispered words. When he is not here, erotic sonnets and erotic music have a similar, but less potent and demanding, effect.

From Drew
As a writer and poet I love and know the power of words. Yet for me the sweeping away power of visuals is overwhelming. But here is where the complexity begins. Partly, I suppose, because people photographed involved in sex know they are being watched. Exhibitionism/voyeurism begins to add to the mix. 

When I am with my lover, I want more than anything to turn her on and give her love and orgasms beyond anything she has experienced. I am turned on enormously by visuals, particularly those in which women are turned on by watching the sex in the scene, and especially if she or they are watching a man come. I, in turn, love to make my woman come to such scenes, if, indeed, she is also turned on by those visuals. In fact, the visuals can be whatever turns her on. If she is turned on, then I am turned on even more so and we can share vicariously the fantasy as I make her come whether manually, orally, me inside her or however. 

It is a convoluted, psychological/emotional loop. But, god, is it ever a deeply pleasurable, peak experience.

From Lily
Pictures are much more of a turn on, particular pics of me and my husband making love. Sometimes he holds the camera and sometime I hold it. He gets great shots of his penis inside men, and I like sending these to my cyberlover.

From Meri
Both, although pictures are very generalized. The image is there and that's it. You get one visual. With erotic words, it becomes more individual as you can shape it into an image that most turns you on and apply it to your own favorite fantasies. I have a very definite image when I write, but who knows where it goes once it falls into someone else's hands. That's beautiful.

From Suzan
I prefer reading erotica to seeing pics/images. But there are two drawings in Boris Vallejo's book "Mirage" [available at Amazon].....each with a woman in the embrace of a male creature who is not entirely human.....OMG, I love those (and the poetry that is with them).

From M from Chicago
Being a 35y/o women, words are always a great motivator. If the right words are being said by the right man, then there is the words and then the visual effects. Picturing how the man will touch you, exactly the way you want to be touch then grows into a physical arousness that then becomes a reality. For example phone sex....always a great way to start foreplay. The words provide you with pleasure that you will want to reciprocate physically for the man that has already prepared you mentally for great sex.

From Anonymous
Beautiful words in a quiet sexual tone while watching a very explicit sexual movie is the most exhilarating experience. I can watch a staged performance and imagine what I can do and expect later...

From Sweetnsuckulet
Pictures for sure.

From ~Val
Pictures or words... pictures are good for that image, the single moment of inhibition. Words describe so much more. With words one can convey not only a defining image, but also show passion, feeling, meaning, motion, emotion and soo much more. This I guess could exist in may forms. Cyber, letters, email, notes left for that loved one, oh and poetry the champion of all, a well written poem that invokes the passion a desire within is a thousand times more erotic than any picture. Don't get me wrong I'm not knocking pictures, but I'm a words man myself.

From Anonymous
Because my husband likes pictures and I like words, we often watch erotic movies together. He gets off on the visuals, I like the dialogue. I like him to whisper sweet, dirty nothings in my ear. One of my favorite books is Vox, which is about telephone sex (rumor has it that it is a book Bill and Monica read together). I like my husband to talk about what he is doing or will do to me when we make love. His hot words and warm whispers really turn me on. We often have the lights on and music very low, so he can see me and I can hear him. That way, we both get what we want.

From Subtle Talk
I have read a lot of the comments that were posted and I have to agree whole heartedly with both. For me the site of a gourgeous woman is incredible but when the picture is of an unnatural setting or position then it is more difficult for me to think that it is for real.

On the same line. If the written word is done correctly then I am deep into the story but if it clumsy or too far from what can truly take place in the real world then I am just not interested.

Now, take both...very well done and put them together with the story line. Then I am all yours!

Also, as a side note. I wanted to comment about another posting that was placed about sounds. I must admit listening to sexual and erotic sounds is a great turn-on. I have found myself on more than one occasion being in a hotel room listening to a couple enjoying each other. When it is so close then you feel like you are right there with them finding yourself releasing at the same time.

From Stan Lee
50 y/o male here. I've read also that men are more aroused by pictures and women aroused by words. I guess I wouldn't fit into that generality as I find a well written story much more arousing than pictures. Part of my reason is I have been fascinated by the fact that humans can communicate with each other by some weird looking cat scratch marks. I have a picture of me at about 3-4 years old intently looking at a newspaper with a quizzical look on my face. My dad had been reading the paper and said to my mom, "It says here...." What do you mean it says here? I didn't hear the paper say anything and so I took a look and saw all these weird looking characters with spaces between them. How wonderful it seemed that my dad could make sense out of all that scribble!

When I was a teenager and saw the rare Playboy or other magazine, it got me extremely aroused but that was before I had seen a real life naked woman. By the time I was in my twenties, I found the articles more interesting than the pictures. Back in the mid-eighties when my wife and I bought our first VHR we rented a couple of porn movies and the plots were so bad that I don't think I've seen one since.

I like a well written erotic story but some aren't well written or are so out of this world that they become unbelievable. It would be one thing if the writer made it clear in the beginning that the story was a fantasy instead of trying to make us believe that they had actually had sex with their partner on top of a high tension pole while hundreds watched with national tv cameras catching their every move. I guess I'm too much of a realist.

I don't like writers that use a lot of profane or filthy words that seem to make sex sound dirty or demeaning. Such as a penis being a 'fuck stick' or a vagina as a 'slime hole'. Even things like 'jack-off' for masturbation to me draws a picture of some pimple ridden teenager 'jacking off' a hundred miles an hour with the sole purpose of having an orgasm as quickly as possible. I don't mind cute little nick names for things presented in a loving and tender way. I sometimes refer to my wife's clitoris as her 'little pink button', or she sometimes refers to my penis as 'Freddy' i.e. 'Is Freddy ready', or 'Can Freddy come out to play'.

I like stories where the people have some kind of bond between them where there's respect and consent. Forced sex stories turn me off although some BSDM stories if done tastefully and there's shown to be mutual consent and desire, can be interesting.

I don't mind stories with pictures although part of the beauty of reading an erotic story is that I can be the set designer and make the people or cloths look the way I want them to be whereas pictures have a way of taking that ability away from you. Besides, picture are usually of 'beautiful' people and the fact is we're all not beautiful but we enjoy sex nonetheless. I guess that's why I've never been too much into visual pornography because I've rarely seen someone in real life that looks as good as those in pictures or movies.

My two cents worth. Its my story and I'm stickin' to it, pilgrim!

From Suzan
I prefer reading erotica to seeing pics, but CJ [see CJ's entry below] mentioned sounds.
Russell Crowe's voice ?
Dark Chocolate for the ears.
It is to me, anyway.

From Firemermaid
When reading, I prefer hetro erotica. But when watching a film, (or real life observation), I'm turned on by both hetro & gay male sex. It's commonly assumed that many straight men get hot when seeing lovely women together, but what about all those straight women who enjoy the visual feast of handsome men pleasuring each other? The cable series "Queer as Folk" has some incredibly hot male-male sex scenes,--& a huge following among straight women. So I know I'm not the only one...

From Pbr
Why would the words vs pictures analysis issue of sexual arousal not fall into the same issue of learning styles involved in educational orientation for any other topic where the impact value is distinct by words, pictures or sound?

Where some are auditory learners, others are more sensitive to graphics, either words or pictures. Why should the same concepts not apply to sexuality, as simply another topic of interest or stimulus? In fact, most people have a saturation level that accepts limited amounts of stimulus within that category, and switch to other levels as needed. Isn't that why newspapers also have pictures, or why people listen to music?

Concentration is defined by how it is presented and the tolerance of the individual to accept the level upon which it is presented, for every topic. Most prefer a combination which is why we have arts as well as music and books. Why must sex be different from other topics, in practice?

From Jim
For me it is both. Either one alone can ring my bell a bit. But the very hottest are those that integrate language and graphics.

Biggest Turn-on? A story with a hot (read fulfills one of my many fantasies) topic told elegantly and with beautifully painted word pictures—augmented by real pictures that are in complete agreement with the words.

Biggest Turn-off? A story where the hero is a swarthy, muscular man and the heroine is a longhaired, leggy brunette but the image shows an almost albino skinny male with a buzz-cut, short blond. Not that there is anything wrong with incredibly light skinned men or short blond women. The point is there's something wrong with incongruities in a story.

I really believe that the great erotica writers of the future will be multimedia masters who can provide us with an integrated textual, visual and even aural story. And Heaven help me when they develop smellivision on the Internet!

From CJ
From Neither Words nor Pictures, "But Sounds -The most primeval adrenaline buzz of all" ...

I'd have to agree with you.....I remember an encounter I had on the phone once....a man with a voice smooth like John Tesh but deeper....began to tell me how he wanted to hammer an orgasm out of me. I felt sudden incredible waves of tingles in the very pit of my stomach. It really was intense to hear it.

From Just a Fan
I read it all now. I started a while back when my boyfriend turned me on to erotica. It just ballooned into a habit or rather a daily routine for me. Shadow Parker or Miller or well all of the writers seem to speak to me and me alone.

I really don't read it with my new boyfriends but rather do it alone. I set the mood with candles and a drink and start opening my ebooks I have just bought. The first or second page seem to set up the idea. I take another sip of my wine and read some more and just start to feel it. Wet and sliding into myself taking turns reading and touching. It just happens I cant seem to help myself. Do I dare tell anyone else about this? I don't in fear that I will have to share my glory. This is my secret and won't be shared with anyone. My feel good time. Parker thank you, you unleashed me too.

From Dave O
Hhhmmm!...... pictures or words? I do have several pictures of a special friend and when I feel the urge for erotic imagery; her sensuality awakens me very rapidly. Yet naughty language or May I use the word sensuality in the written rhetoric's by far seem to excite me to a greater level of intensity than visuals.

I love to write period, and as of late, I have really enjoyed writing poetry, short stories and responses to various issues in here. Writing eroticism, or as I prefer to call my writing, an attempt at my expressing sensuality in words, is often difficult for me because I have to change entire forms of writing—Let me back up a second—I am an ER nurse on the weekends but during the week, I am a senior in History and Philosophy at a University in Tennessee. There are also five of us that sling papers at each other during our weekly critiques. Much of my time during the week is also devoted to writing on objective topics. Being objective as in, "Natural Law Theory and It's Impact on the 1824 Revolution in Mexico" is a necessity but rather a mundane subject.

Hhhmmm!.......pictures or words? Could they be both at times? I would assume the object of writing eroticism is to be able to allow the reader to feel and become part of the visual imagery. I love to share with others by both reading and writing topics of a sensual nature. It allows me to "think outside the box". I use the word share to try and avoid the nomenclature of me as a "writer"; I am many moons from being a writer.

I love to share with others my feelings in words and project imagery in a sensual nature to allow a reader to feel some of my responses to issues and to be honest I find many of your responses from the heart and yet stimulating to me. The rhetoric allows me to feel free with my responses and lets my writing flow from the heart.

I know many people who will openly voice contempt to the art of visual or the written imagery portrayed in eroticism and yet I also wonder how many so desperately need the feel to "be normal". It's not only a pleasure to enter in here but it allows me the thought process of "I'm ok", if I choose to do_____ or I feel _____or I want to_____!

Enjoy the moment and maybe later.....take a picture or write about it...

From Spear
I think they go hand-in-hand. A sexy erotic picture will sometimes turn me on if it triggers a fantasy or story. An erotic story will turn me on if it triggers images in my head. I believe we are only seeing the picture or reading the story as a reinforcement of our already present fantasies.

I guess for some people the fantasies they have in them are driven by images, in which case a picture will do more. In some, their fantasies are driven by scenarios and not necessarily images, in which case a good story will work best. I will surf the web looking at a hundred pictures and reading fifty stories before I find one that actually hits the spot. My favorite is when I find a story with good pictures that helps depict the story....

From Rhino
Naughty Pictures or Sexy Words? They both work for me. But what surprised me was that I have found over the last couple of years is that I am ‘switched on' by woman receiving anal sex and yet I have never had the desire to try it. I would love to try it now though!

From AnonyMous
I must say I love reading erotic words on the page or screen - erotic chat is great when other participants know how to turn a phrase. I truly enjoy a well-written tale, or if in live chat, someone who knows how to create the visual with words - that's a real art!

I love erotic images, though; I guess it just depends on what I'm in the mood for. I have to say, I'm not into those "staged" porno images that have the women looking right at the camera - since I am a woman, these are much less believable than others I've seen that are far more erotic - I much prefer unscripted or "live" images, but it depends on the circumstances.

From Rhainon
I thought about this and I think Sexy Words works for me. A picture is very nice and erotic, but can only take you so far. Reading sexy words can conjure up images in your head that can far exceed erotic pictures. The mind is a wonderful tool and I think my mind can get me hotter than any picture. But, please don't take the pictures away. They do motivate and give me inspiration!!

From Neither Words Nor Pictures
Just to stir the honey pot, lemme suggest an even sexier third alternative sound. In terms of instant arousal, nothing gets a flaccid cock out of the starting gate quicker than an breathy "ooooohhhh" or "ahhhhhhh or "mmmmmmmm."

Believe me, somebody is going to be very rich one day, when he or she decides to put out a CD of nothing but the sounds of women coming.

Words. You gotta love 'em.
Pictures. You gotta love 'em.
But sounds. The most primeval adrenaline buzz of all.

From Davi W Scott Jr.
I think there is a large difference always between us in this respect. I would like to think its all cultural, at the risk of sounding like a misogamist I really think I can recognize immediately erotica written by a woman as opposed to erotica written by a man.

I'm not sure that this shouldn't be the way of things, yet still the real fact remains that we are operating from different ends of the spectrum, and I think our meetings are at most rare yet wonderful. I'm not sure that most of our greatest moments of sexual experience aren't only enhanced memories all just a beat off from the tangle that exists in our large stupid brains. .

From Hans
Interesting question. For me (heterosexual male), the question is not words or images, but the quality of them. I write as a hobby, and enjoy writing erotica, so I also enjoy a good erotic read. This means more than just a well-written sex scene but a well written sex scene in a larger story that interests me, in which I have reason to like the characters as complete people, not just body parts. This can be naughty and kinky and not politically correct, if it's good.

I also enjoy quality erotic images. Again, these can be politically incorrect and graphic, but they also have to be well produced, which the overwhelming majority of online porn is decidedly not. If the lighting is bad or the photographer can't even focus the camera, the image is not erotic regardless of how lovely the model is or whether she is wearing or doing something I enjoy seeing.

The best stuff, for me, is putting the two together. When I write erotica, I like to have the word processor fill half my screen and a quality erotic image in the other half. If the image is part of a series that I can imagine a story around, I enjoy it all the more.

Finally, what I like both in images and words is a clear indication that both or more of those involved are enjoying themselves. Irritating captions proclaiming that the model enjoys having one form of sex or another when it's clear from her face that she is bored or unhappy, or captions that tell me that I'm supposed to think of her as nothing more than an object to put a penis in, kill the mood for me quickly. Stories where the author clearly hates women or men are not erotic to me (this is not the same as stories in which men and women come into conflict; it's the author's underlying feelings that I'm talking about here). One of my favorite erotic images comes from a fairly graphic series, but shows only the man and the woman embracing, naked, and she is melting into his arms and smiling.

From David W Scott Jr
I think it has been pretty well established that men are sexually oriented in large part by their vision. Hugh Hefner and scores of others have established that. My question remains what do women want? Most erotic fiction focuses on this same visual imagery. I suspect that a woman's libido lives closer to Fabio, and romance novels. We seem forever strangers.

From Anonymous Sensual Man
As a 30ish guy, I have to say, while pictures are nice, words wonderful, nothing can compare to the sounds of an aroused partner. Her moans, groans and breathing, sharply sucked in or let out with a wail, all make me more quickly ready than any words or picture can do.

As a second choice, I must say that words are a wonderful tool to be painted in your mind's canvas with your own experiences and imaginings.

From Quest
I don't think it's a question of enjoying one or the other exclusively. Most of the people who write into the E.R.W.A. will admittedly have, at least, some slight appreciation for written material (though not necessarily exclusively).

To shamelessly surf on Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics Sex is good. That's why I love to think about sex. Ergo, that which makes me think about really enjoyable sex puts me in touch with what is good. The goodness comes from imagining all the arousing sensations and provocative or loving connections. So it's not so much a question of pure medium nor one of pure receiver it's a question of what sensations work and how to best make one imagine them.

Hence, there are times when I choose to look at images. And even within this medium the subject matter and form will vary depending on my mood or preoccupation. So sometimes it's Tera Patrick by Suze Randall that gets me hard or Andrew Blake's ‘Aria'. Other times, it's the low grade vidcaps of some anonymous young hottie. It doesn't even have to be explicit, so sometimes it's a cover on Maxim, FMR, or Cosmo. AND sometimes it's even that subliminal sex in a L'Oreal Hair-colour package I'll see in a drugstore, that get me hard. They all work on my wang because in some way, at these times, I simply want an image with which my imagination can run wild.

Likewise, sometimes I want someone else's imagination to supply the plot, the characters, or the imagery. When I'm reading a story or listening to my lover tell me one, in my mind I can cast anyone I want as the 'actors' I can imagine myself; I can imagine the real guy or girl from work who I'm horney for (or both together!); or I can insert a desirable celebrity like Jessica Biel, Beoncé Knowles, Enrique Iglesias; then again, I can invent someone out of thin air. I can follow the author's text dogmatically or I can improvise a lusty counterpoint in my head.

What matters is that the medium is the one I'm most open to at that moment. Some will play the highbrow card and say "Oh porn is so devoid of real intelligence." ... and most of it is. That's it's strength. To quote Ron Jeremy "When are people gonna realize that this stuff is just junk entertainment." Just as I like junk food at times (Kentucky Fried Chicken or a Hershey Bar) or junk music (Britney Spears or Hybrid) ... I likewise want porno.

On the other hand, those of the proletarian camp may protest, "Oh yeah Dude ... reading about watching a hottie getting lubed and fucked is NOTHING like watching a video or photos of Stephanie Swift or Vince Voyeur sweating, pumping, and making each other cum!" No it isn't ... it's jim-dandy on Friday after a long week. BUT this doesn't mean that reading ‘The Story of O' or reading from ‘The Gates of Paradise' isn't just what the ol' brainpan orders on another occasion. I like gourmet meals too. Just as I like, Balti Curry, or chard salad with smoked duck breast, or Crème Caramel ... I want the prose of Nicholson Baker, or Isabelle Allende, or James Baldwin to delight and mystify me.

To summarize, some days I want Stephanie and Vince, some days it the girl on the deodorant TV Commercial (You all know her ... the naughty one whose roommate asks "Jen, did you borrow my dress?" Does it look like she borrowed it? ... Who cares she's sooo coy and sexy tear off her dress and lick her silly!). Other days I want to lie back and let anyone from Joannie Blank to 'JP in Manitoba' do all thinking for me.

The bottom line ... sex is good ... if a story, a photo, a video, a song, or a symphony makes you get horney the all the better. Vive la differénce!

From DonnaLee
Of course I'll take luscious prose that makes me forget about work, sleep, food, ect! But....a picture from the person sending the email showing him as a biker fantasy man? That just can't help but make me howl like a wolf! Vapid porno doesn't do anything for me, and naughty pictures of men I can't meet are ho-hum. But....having great cover art on that romantic novel can make it just that much better. Ask Lindsey what having Fabio on her covers did for her books. ;-)

From Sweet Reader
My experience has been that each person, male or female, has a strong preference towards one or the other, but often not both. Words always get me. Words that conjure up sexual ideas (even while trying vainly to mind their own business in a non-sexual sentence) lascivious, voluptuous, slide, sting, sigh.

But what makes me squirm the most are sounds. Soft exhalations of breath, a gasp, inarticulate murmurs to raw cries. It's the sounds, then the words - *those* can create the pictures. Some of my most erotic sexual encounters were on the phone - aural sex, I suppose I'd call it.

When we read, we are actually stimulating the listening centers in the brain - effectively, we are talking to ourselves. So people who like erotica are also often turned on by sounds.

Sometimes I prefer pictures - it depends on my mood - but more often, words.

From Penfold
I prefer the words over pictures as there is something about the image the brain creates as it reads the words on the page. A good author can create a scene so descriptive that you don't need the pictures the image just forms in your mind.

That's not to say I don't mind seeing erotic pictures or movies as they can be arousing as well but they just don't do it for me as well as the written word.

From Andy
Even as a straight male, I have to say that I prefer words to pictures. Most pictures are fairly blunt and emotionless. There's a lot of "dirty"/"nasty" (as in "nasty girl") stuff--lots of come-fuck-me attitude--but little of it is convincing. Porn films in particular come across as almost medical penis in, penis out, no plot, stupid scenes. How are you supposed to imagine yourself in that? With erotica, particularly good erotica, I can imagine myself there. It can be just as hard and "dirty" but it's more involving. This applies too to good erotic photography, which is, as I said, few and far between. Good erotic movies (non-medicinal) I've yet to see (well, one exception).

From Carmen
I get turned on by both. I think i like written erotica b/c I can use my imagination to fill in the gaps and help get into the mood, images don't always allow for an active imagination. however, at times, pics can be very arousing

From kalliannassa
If men were so very visual and women so turned on by reading, who keeps the 900 numbers operating??? Seriously, as a female I will admit to being very turned on by certain visuals, enjoyed the denim image from an earlier post, thanks much! I also know that an ex couldn't handle the few fantasies I wrote about him before he was ready to practice them, and we both enjoyed phone sex with each other while forced to be apart.

Many signals of sexuality, especially on the female of species are visual so it makes sense that men pick up on those first.

I would suggest that women tend to prefer the written, or spoken word, if only for the fact that our bodies warm up more slowly, and those media let us enjoy that more readily, a picture tends to be near immediate gratification, which while nice in its own way, is not the way the female body was designed. A story takes time to savor, which is more how we work anyway.

To each their own, enjoy!

From Nikolai
For most men (I think), the visual response is first and fastest, and therefore initially the strongest. After that 1001 other considerations come into play which can completely reverse the first response. The connection with erotica is that stories which create strong, clear visual images are probably going to turn the average man on the most.

With women I'm not sure. My non-literary experience suggests that women get turned on by particular ideas about sex, e.g restraint, passion, love, transgression, submission, lack of inhibition, hardness, strength etc. The terribly written fantasies I've concocted on the fly for individual women online have all worked, (as long as if I've known them well enough), if they contain 2 or 3 of the ideas that turn them on the most. The actual story has just been wrapping for the ideas.

Writes Poetry
I do not want to say that I speak for all men but I am sure my views are not out of the norm for a good majority of men. For me good art, photography as well as short story or novel can provide strong sexual stimulation. I must admit that the "visual" stimulus requires less thought and more than likely a smaller portion of one's brain to get "turned on". It is also more than likely that it also yields the quickest response. So I must agree with the ladies it appears on the surface that men may only be turned on visually. But speaking for myself there have been some very good stories that provided me similar or possibly a stronger stimulus than just looking at photos in a men's magazine.

Magazines featuring just body parts I have no interest in at all. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade but to me they really appeal to man's most basal instinct and requires no thought. I would not buy such a magazine but have bought my share of Playboys for the stories... OK I confess I am lying here. However they seem to show a woman's beauty tastefully and yes I look at all the parts. I like looking at a woman in the whole.

From Ann Regentin
There are no absolutes in human sexuality. That's one of the fun things about it. There is a huge difference between saying that men are primarily visual (and women primarily behavioral) and saying that that's all they are. There are a ton of factors that influence mate selection in humans, any of which can override that kind of knee-jerk reaction.

The conclusion I've come to is that most of it is culture, probably as much as 90% - 95%. Boys and girls are taught very different things about sexuality and control, and culture clings tightly to gender role. But there are some biological differences. I have a therapist friend who specializes in transsexuals and she has watched many people go through hormone therapy. Testosterone and estrogen make a difference, but even when you're not getting it via injection, levels of those hormones vary depending on the circumstances and they're only a small part of the whole chemical picture. If men and women were really that different sexually, no man would be able to write from a female point of view and vice versa.

I may not turn on so hard visually as most men do, but this doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the sight of a nice, tight ass in snug denim and speculate on what it might look like sans clothing or how the muscles might flex when he's.....ah, well, you get the idea!

From Jill
I think it depends on the visual image....

Last week a friend sent me an erotic greeting card with a photo I couldn't take my eyes from. The people were not model quality, but attractive (at least the woman was). I truly believed these were "real" people who were enjoying sex with each other, although the setting was obviously intended to be photographed. The way they kissed and the way she was touching him was so real I kept going back to it and looking at it.

I went to that site that the card came from and there were no other photos that struck me that way. But there was a tremendous, sensual quality to their coupling that I couldn't deny. In fact, I almost wrote a story about it, but just didn't know where to take it.

From Jack Raven
Your experience reminds me of pictures I saw once. As a card-carrying male, quite obviously it's my duty to be familiar with the visual erotica that the Internet has to offer, but I recall once being struck by a series of pictures of couples with the particular quality that lust was obvious on each of their eyes and smiles as they stared at each other during the act.

The striking thing to me was that I found the series particularly attractive because such a romantic quality seems to be so rare in visual erotica. And I'm not a person who finds there has to be romance in the mix for erotica to be hot, I find pictures and stories of raw sex, that takes place out of "need" rather than "romance" to be of high interest. But it does seem that so much Internet erotica goes for the non-romantic sex that you can see why folks feel starved for such a thing.

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