Taking Care of Business

On the sly...or so you think

Add a bit of spice to your masturbation pleasures...

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From Rose
I've always masturbated whether my husband was there or not, or awake or not. It was never an issue at all for either of us. I don't orgasm during regular sex or oral sex and the only thing that works on me is myself, or a vibrator, so we simply adjusted to that particular glitch. And if he wanted to do himself, that was perfectly okay with me, too. If either of us was already asleep and the other was doing it, I think the only issue was waking up the other person and disturbing their sound sleep. It had absolutely nothing to do with recriminations for doing it or for going it alone, but rather that same level of annoyance as when one of the cats decides to use you as a springboard to the window ledge at three a.m.

I have never understood why masturbation, within a relationship, is an issue for the people in that relationship. It's a perfectly natural activity and sometimes you just want to be alone with yourself and your fantasies and have an orgasm without having to worry about your  partner. It is no different from watching a movie alone or dining alone or reading a book or enjoying any other solitary pleasures. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you can't enjoy those solitary pleasures.

From Lori
There are times when the rush of the day doesn't seem possible until I bring myself to orgasm.  Personally I would rather not have to do this but when I do, it is quick and to the point and then I am on my way.  I too, have masturbated when my partner was in the bed next to me.  We had previously had sex and he "got his" so to say and rolled over.  My mind thought okay, what about me.  I am a very sexual person and willing to try various things to assist in spicing up our lovemaking.  There are times however that he will make a comment, that may not even be relevant at the time, but it turns me off and I stifle myself. 

There is a twelve year difference between us and we used to be hot and heavy in the sexual department when we first dated.  We live an hour and a half away from one another and have been in a long distance relationship for five years.  Lately we have been performing self gratification over the webcam and that seems hot for the moment but for me it doesn't really cure the urge.  My fantasy is to be masturbating when he walks in and instead of being shocked or speaking, he just watches, the natural beauty of a woman, touching herself the way she likes to be touched and should be touched.  Where he takes away from the experience the knowledge that he may not be "Lord God King Bufoo" in the bedroom area and there are things that he too can still learn about sensuality and sexuality.

From Pat
Yes, I've wanked many, many times while a lover/partner was asleep beside me. Particularly when I was married. I wasn't able to have an orgasm during partner sex until a few years after my marriage ended. During my marriage, masturbation was my *only* option for having orgasms. So that's what I did.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the kind of open, understanding  relationship with my husband that Rose has with hers, so I felt like I had to keep my wanking a secret. Also unfortunately, usually the only time I want to wank is after I go to bed at night, so it's not like I could have taken care of business on my own when the hubs wasn't around.

I'm trying to remember how I felt back then. I remember there was shame. Partly shame because I couldn't come by his hand or mouth or cock or any other kind of stimulation besides my own right middle finger. Partly shame because I was keeping secrets from him. Partly shame because I knew if he ever caught me, I'm sure he would have felt really bad about it. Like "why aren't you asking me to do that for you?" kind of thing.
 
If I knew then what I know now about my own body, our sex life would have been vastly different, much better, and I'm sure I wouldn't have  felt the need to secretly masturbate after my husband fell asleep beside me. It's even quite possible the marriage wouldn't have ended at all...because the dissonance between our sex drives was a major, major point of contention between us. I'm sure if I'd been able to have orgasms with him, my sex drive would have improved dramatically. Who knows.

Very near the end of my marriage, when my husband and I were fighting a lot, he came right out and asked me if I ever masturbated. I told him yes. He couldn't understand why I would do that. I think he was very hurt, very confused, bewildered. His reaction confirmed my reasoning for keeping my secret wanking a secret.

From Dougie
My situation was a little different.  I was quite ill for 20 years or so.  I was narcoleptic and as soon as I laid down in bed I fell asleep as well as face down in dinner or watching movies or anything.  I had such exceedingly sore arms and hands that I wasn't able to masturbate myself or pet my wife.  I had erectile dysfunction because of neuropathies and other problems.  So our sex life was pretty crappy.  Since I couldn't do anything my wife was very displeased and took care of herself during the night most every night.

I did not sleep well due to my many problems. I'm sure she thought that I slept much better than I did. I often became aware of a particular vibration of the bed as my wife masturbated, well more than a thousand times in all over the years.  I never said anything, never offered to join in or disturb her in any way.  I didn't want to scare her off from doing so.  I felt really terrible about the situation.  I wanted so badly to be able to do something and she had become so hostile about it.  I didn't have any solutions to offer her and she sure didn't have any to offer me.  The situation deteriorated and I ended up divorced.  It was a little more complicated than that and all very sad.

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