Writing Bad Sex
An arduous effort

I'm writing a bad sex scene (not rape, but rather people having sex for bad reasons and not really having a good time at it) and it strikes me that it's harder to write a bad sex scene than a good one.

In a good sex scene, you have a built in motivation for doing anything or not doing anything... It Feels Good.

In a bad sex scene, if someone isn't saying what they want or doing what they hope their partner will like or whatever, you have to have some OTHER motivation for that.   —Nobili

Fiction is the truth inside the lie.   —Stephen King

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From Mike Kimera
Well, they say it's always harder to write about real life.

From Louisa Burton
Can't recall having written a scene that was actually bad for both people. I've written a few where one of the partners definitely didn't feel the love—at least in the beginning. But I think you're right, Nobilis, that it comes down to motivation. Why are these people having sex? Why isn't it really working for them? Why don't they just throw in the towel and say, you know what? Let's watch Sunset Tan. (Now, that's bad sex.) It's the motivation that'll make the scene interesting to read. That, and wondering what's gonna happen now that they've had this bad sex.

Some scenes really are just grueling to write, but you know the story needs them, so you have to tough it out. I read some writing advice once that said you shouldn't write a scene you don't enjoy writing, because then your reader won't enjoy reading it. Could NOT be more wrong. Some of the scenes (or books, for that matter), that were the hardest for me to write—or even the most boring—are the ones that have gotten the best reader feedback, reviews, etc. (I hate glib advice that sounds right on the surface but which was never really thought through.) I actually love the process of writing, but there are those occasional scenes that really test you.

From Rose B. Thorny
I should think if one wants to write bad sex scenes, the research shouldn't be all that difficult...as long as you could be a fly on the wall of the ladies' lounge and the guys' locker room, or the guys' lounge and the ladies' locker room.

There are plenty of places to read about people's [subjective] experiences about bad sex (not abusive sex, just bad sex) and it's usually in the sites where people ask someone like the Drs. Berman about how to improve their sex lives, then go into the litany of things their spouses, or SOs, or dating partner(s) do wrong. And then there is our own experience (current and past and long past) that probably has its share of "I don't believe this" less-than-stellar moments.

What you want to end up with is being able to write good about bad sex.

From Dangerous Bill
Writing good sex scenes, you have lots of precedents tucked away in the back of your mind, consciously or otherwise. But sex can be bad or go bad in so many ways, it's a kind of writing that most of us aren't used to. The situation you describe (bad sex for bad reasons) is great gist for the creative mill, but I can imagine that it could take a lot of rewriting to make it sound real.

Another thing you have to overcome is the expectation of readers (also from prior exposure) that every sex act is going to affect seismometers on distant continents and leave everyone happy. Everyone is going to come simultaneously with lots of noise, and be immediately ready for another round. When things screw up, or were never right in the first place, you have to convince your reader that this is a worthwhile and necessary part of the story, or you risk losing them.

From Angela Caperton
The why is definitely important when writing any sex scene, but yes, I do think that question holds a lot more weight when the sex is ... shall we say less spectacular?

And yes, it is much harder to write.  When I wrote Woman of the Mountain, there is a sex scene that falls into this category.  It's not the fumbling of youth or the lack of passion that colors the sex, but other elements that doom the scene as "bad sex".  It was very hard to write a scene that, for the characters, has SUCH potential, starts off hot, but in the end flops cataclysmically.

From Jewel Scott
Any sex scene has to have motivation and goals.  For any erotic story to work, the sex itself cannot be gratuitous.  However, in a scene where at least one participant finds pleasure is easier to write.  When the sex is bad, it is harder to write from that perspective.  The scene is more transparent than when the participants are deriving pleasure. I think all of us should write, at one time or another, a bad sex scene.  It forces to focus on character and motivation more than one that is pleasurable.  It would be a great way to hone those skills for the writing of great sex.

From Brady Sutton
I confess I'm confused about this topic. Seems to me that bad sex is like any other bad thing a writer writes about. And it also assumes, pardon me if I step on anyone's toes, that the only sex scenes we eroticists write are good sex scenes. Based on reactions here on the board, many of my sex scenes have been bad. Fortunately for all of us, we've only had good sex in our lives, because by definition the only sex is good sex. But just watch a teenage sex comedy, and you'll see some REALLY BAD SEX. You want bad sex in your story? You can do it! Come on, gang!

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